dear diary

#65

2011-04-11T00:42:00.000-07:00

guilty confession: i still think about you... every day.

#64

2011-03-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

motor oil musk and vanilla sex.

#63

2011-03-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

so this is really what's gonna happen?

Now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover

Ah
Well if she come walkin' over
Now I been waitin' to show her
Crimson and clover
Over and over

Yeah
My mind's such a sweet thing
I wanna do everything
What a beautiful feeling
Crimson and clover
Over and over

Crimson and clover, over and over

(KEY: HER = HIM)

#62

2011-03-11T23:15:00.000-08:00

you're so D-R-E-A-M-Y.

#61

2011-02-20T00:20:00.000-08:00

BEEN THERE,
DONE THAT.

#60

2011-01-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

i've made my full circle,
now i'm walking on a road of roses.

i've made a practice,
of glorifying the desperate
and ignoring the kind.

now it's taken it's toll.

he gave me the key to his heart
and all i can be is a troll.

Jeans Wilder "Sparkler" from Stephanie Wuertz on Vimeo.

#59

2010-12-28T21:28:00.000-08:00

i heard this today and felt this overwhelming amount of nostalgia...

Don't you wonder sometimes
'Bout sound and vision

Blue, blue, electric blue
That's the colour of my room
Where I will live
Blue, blue

Pale blinds drawn all day
Nothing to do, nothing to say
Blue, blue

I will sit right down, waiting for the gift of sound and vision
And I will sing, waiting for the gift of sound and vision
Drifting into my solitude, over my head

Don't you wonder sometimes
'Bout sound and vision

#58

2010-12-22T22:49:00.000-08:00

one thing's for sure,
i was born to live a moonstruck life.

#58

2010-12-20T15:23:00.000-08:00

i want to be loved right,
and right now.

"the way i keep in touch with the world is very gingerly because the world touches too hard."
-captain beefheart, rest in peace sweet prince.

#57

2010-12-01T00:12:00.001-08:00

every now and then a lady should treat herself,
not only to a hobnail vase full of roses,
but to a beautiful man as well.

whoa, tengo un novio.

#56

2010-11-27T12:37:00.000-08:00

latin lover beneath the covers,
how i miss your sister and brother.
japanese beats between the sheets,
baby's on fire, he never sleeps.
irish girl with long brown curls,
don't lose your mind boys and girls.

don't kill the dream before it's even been seen.

#55

2010-11-16T19:11:00.000-08:00

was i more alive then than i am now?
i happily have to disagree.
i laugh more often now.
i cry more often now.
i am more me.

#54

2010-11-15T18:18:00.001-08:00

i want a full leather suit,
custom tailored to fit my body.
i want leather piping,
licking the edges of an armor sewn for me.
i want to feel safe and secure,
being held by the skin of a beast.

#53

2010-11-13T01:43:00.000-08:00

lesson learned: never fuck with ~~good~~ style. never.

#52

2010-11-12T17:19:00.000-08:00

"we were unlucky in love but i'd do it all again."

i'm not ready yet!
also, to you:
stop invading my dreams..

#51

2010-11-01T09:38:00.000-07:00

you know you give me,
sweet feelings in my ears.
you know you give me,
sweet smiles instead of tears.

"throw me a kiss." ugh, swoooooon.

#50

2010-10-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

i just felt the strangest most gut wrenching feeling.
i haven't felt that for so long.
does this mean i'm alive, again?

every inch of my flesh is bruised and tender from last nights debauchery.
there's still no explanation for this morning's bloody sheets.
god i love this... this feeling.

dear kali: stop falling in love.

#48

2010-10-18T00:07:00.000-07:00

i saw you,
i wished harm upon you
and it happened in front of my face.
cult cab car crash.

and then i walked away.

#47

2010-10-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

just for you...

IF I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN
I WILL ALWAYS CARRY YOU
INSIDE
OUTSIDE

ON MY FINGERTIPS
AND AT BRAIN EDGES

AND IN CENTERS
CENTERS
OF WHAT I AM OF
WHAT REMAINS.

CHARLES BUKOWSKI

#46

2010-10-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
- Ernest Hemingway

#45

2010-10-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

last year was all about the lion,
this year is all about the twins.
dust em off, onto the win.

#44

2010-10-10T11:04:00.001-07:00

#43

2010-10-07T13:13:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. Sky Saxon

#42

2010-09-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

while inhaling the thickness of the damp autumn air
my eyes scanned the broken horizon - i tried to catch my breath
i gazed across neon slashes and sienna that pierced dusk's sky
i thought aloud, "i couldn't imagine living any other way, just as i did today"

god damned deep stares will be my demise.

#41

2010-09-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

i've kept my head in the clouds this entire time
so THIS is what it's like to live life?
fast fast fast - mine mine mine!

#40

2010-08-31T12:31:00.001-07:00

#39

2010-08-25T12:04:00.001-07:00

okay im done being shitty now.
goal: live for the moment not the next rush.

#38

2010-08-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

mommys growing up
and daddy feels the pain
the wise seek the wise
the vain seek the vain

as the white is cut
the weak scour for good times
the wells run dry
the bodies separate and divide

as i cleanse my brain
of the filth youve embalmed
im living in the moment
and the moment is everything but calm

this fancy gem is atop the washer/dryer of my new place. viva 90026!

#37

2010-08-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

contact yeilded the most comforting dream
i'll fess up, i miss everything

the magick is working.

#36

2010-07-24T01:07:00.000-07:00

the concept of settling simply never crossed my mind
seems like such a downgrade and/or waste of time

dead heart
car crash
dog bite

the end please?
please keep the threes away from me

#35

2010-07-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

grime don't look good on you
it's all wrong and you've no clue
i've got bruised knees and sore shins
take it all back to where it begins

today i crashed my new car.

#34

2010-07-15T00:43:00.001-07:00

today..

i thought about the infected cesspool of culture in california
i thought about the absence of genuine gestures within friends
i thought about substance and vanity and how the two are wholly abused [hand in hand]
i thought about the concept of having hope and losing hope
i thought about ugliness in everyone

today... i fully appreciated all of the above, i also stole shampoo & conditioner.

#33

2010-07-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

my lucky/not so lucky number. c'est la vie, right?

#32

2010-07-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

i felt warmth for the first time in ages
flesh against flesh and slippery sweat smeared skin
a sincere finger grazed the curl on my neck
and when i closed my eyes i was relieved when your face didnt appear

#31

2010-06-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

When they get what they want they never want it again...

Go on, take everything take everything take everything I want you to.
Hey, I'm the one with no soul..
One above and one below.

#30

2010-06-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

its like that empty painful echo after the muzzle blast
...i wish i could slow down.

#29

2010-06-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

remember these?

#28

2010-06-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

the threes are going to kill me.

#27

2010-06-13T23:07:00.001-07:00

"Haunted by her side it's the darkness in her eyes
That so enslaves me
But if my love is blind then I don't want to see
She's a mystery to me

Night falls I'm cast beneath her spell
Daylight comes our heaven's turns to hell
Am I left to burn
and burn eternally"

Roy Orbison - She's A Mystery To Me

...man was a fucking genius.

#26

2010-06-12T01:01:00.000-07:00

each day my mind sails this desolate sea
it drifts among the oceans of recollect
while it helms the dark waters for some sort of change
[the sort of change] in which the journey conducts its finale
and the rolling tide quickly recedes
exposing the tender underbelly of this morbid, rotting beast

#25

2010-06-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

as i dabble in dynamite
and singe my fingertips
the fuse expires
and the pieces of my hardened soul
are scattered among the oceans

retrieve, repair, resurrect
all that is tangible
all that is left

#24

2010-06-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

fuck the act of dreaming and the disgusting intuition it casts the next morning.

forget:
the smell of your skin
the shape of your lips
the sound of your voice
the never ending laughter
the soul piercing stares
the love

remember:
the bitterness on your breath
the scowl on your face
the absence of your voice
the uncomfortable chortle
the sick, rattling eyes
the hate

#23

2010-05-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

"And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.” -Kelly Cutrone

#22

2010-05-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

and for the first time, in a long time,
i took a deep breath and my heart didn't feel so cumbersome.
i remember now, one of my greatest qualities is resilience.
so many great things are happening and i wish i could share them with you.

#21

2010-05-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

i can't tell whether i'm hungry or sick or sad or hateful....
or maybe even alive?

i miss me.

#20

2010-05-21T02:10:00.000-07:00

A short story, written on my flight home from Alabama.

I scoured several mercantile for four of the best cards I could find. Not the kind that fold in half and have some sort of fancy embossing or thermography. I needed simple, not fancy. The kind of simple you get with a postcard. One picture and enough blank space for a small, 'to-the-point' paragraph. I found four perfect cards on the clearance rack [for the newer selection frankly didn't suit my taste]. Simple card, fancy taste.

I began to scrawl out what my ravaged mind's cup needed to spill. In all uppercase, with stern strokes I began.

#1 was written to the Pawn. An important figure in my game, but not important enough to do any real 'work' so one would say. #2 was written to the Knight, one of my guardians. I know this Knight would do most anything for me, but this Knight leads a life of less quality than mine and is less complex with it's moves. #3 was to the Rook - an equal. Equal in every way aside from the plain fact that this rook was not me. #4 was written to everything in the game, the King. For this King needed a simple note from the Queen. A simple note saying that he is everything and that without him the game simply couldn't be played.

#19

2010-05-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

"...do not take it seriously, what you see here: it's only a joke played on myself by myself...
it amuses and horrifies... a rather gaudy grave, you might say. There is no daytime in this room, nor night;
the seasons are changeless here, and the years, and when I die, if indeed I haven't already,
then let me be dead drunk and curled, as in my mother's womb, in the warm blood of darkness.
Wouldn't that be an ironic finale for one who, deep in his goddamned soul, sought the sweetly clean-limbed life?
bread and water, a simple roof to share with some beloved, nothing more."

pg 138 of Other Voices, Other Rooms - Truman Capote

∆

2010-05-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

i just want to lie on a sunny hillside
with all that's inside of me preoccupied
sun scorching my life bleached skin
burn every wretched ounce of me from within
i want to wither, buckle and suffer
while the blades of grass are my altar
and as my charred bones recollect
what was it like when i had something left?

#18

2010-05-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

everything is off balance right now.
it's almost as if i'm depriving myself of vital nutrients.

#17

2010-05-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

my chest is filled with lead
and ive no more tears to shed.

#16

2010-05-05T23:33:00.000-07:00

on a soft spring morning
our heads rest atop the pillow
i can hear you breathing ever so deeply
every whisper, every billow

the sun pierces our eyelids
and the gusts from the fan lick our skin
the swallows sing from the window
a new day must begin

#15

2010-04-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

love...
shits cruel man.
one minute its hot, the next its cold.
i need a little lukewarm in my life.

"come at dawn
all the burning lights are wasted
tongue tied now
you can't understand the torture
in the morning of the day
with the cold world brings a fear"

true widow - duelist

#14

2010-04-24T02:57:00.000-07:00

i still have those plans
you remember? those ones we drew
we were high on dreams
strictly surviving off of that which we knew

i remember in such vivid detail
as i drew on the turquoise trunk
the ball point pen skipped like a sail
on a sea of dead, lifeless, textured paper

the imperfections were perfect
and the papers dents were ignored
the plans were of a house
made from canvas, concrete and board

inside of the house swirled nothing but dreams
each geometrical connection
bursting at the seams
bidding adieu to the gods and living solely ourselves

said angles of the abode were foreign
aghast i could hardly breathe
i held my breath for so long
that my lungs just started to bleed

#13

2010-04-22T21:09:00.000-07:00

god damn.
bold as fuck and it hits so hard.
so deep it leaves you shaking and withering on your knees...

"i don't think it's right.
lettin' love ruin my life
but i don't think it's wrong
gettin' a little revenge in a song
it hurts, don't lie...

who you gonna run to?
who you gonna run to now?
you know i would have died for you
but it wasn't like you loved me anyhow
you know i'm right, you know i'm right

baby, i've been wrong
and maybe i've been livin a little headstrong
but i know it isn't right
startin' a war by avoiding a fight
it hurts, don't lie...

who you gonna run to?
who you gonna run to now?
you know i would have died for you
but it wasn't like you loved me anyhow

you know i'm right, you know i'm right
(you know i'm right)"

solid gold - who you gonna run to?

#12

2010-04-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

going on a treasure hunt
'x' marks the spot
big circle
little circle
dot dot dot...

#11

2010-04-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

via suninscorpio

"why do you stand by the window
abandoned to beauty and pride
the thorn of the night in your bosom
the spear of the age in your side
lost in the rages of fragrance
lost in the rags of remorse
lost in the waves of a sickness
that loosens the high silver nerves
oh chosen love, oh frozen love
oh tangle of matter and ghost
oh darling of angels, demons and saints
and the whole broken-hearted host
gentle this soul"

the window - leonard cohen

#10

2010-04-13T01:33:00.000-07:00

let it burn and be dead for it is time to rise above the ashes like the calling of a phoenix.

via the old coyote

#9

2010-04-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

"i am not afraid of my own blood
i can share with you so much more
stable and balanced i am here
breathing in breathing out

sometimes i wish that i was back in babylon
drinking wine with nostalgia
a blessed disease i'd laugh at you dementia

i can blow your mind
i can blow your mind"

witchcraft - the alchemist

via electric witch

#8

2010-04-08T02:18:00.000-07:00

v. 01
the secrets the wind carries are something that will change,
when you face the hurt and crack the truth - its the strongest you'll ever remain.

v. 02
your heart beats strong and your soul shines pure,
but the saddle in which you're seated is beneath a guise of filth.

oh what a bizarre beautiful world it is....

#7

2010-04-06T01:07:00.000-07:00

lucky #7.

via cosmic dust

its strange to me how some dreams die and some live on. who decides which continues to bleed?
its like a constant tune that your heart beats to or a language the soul speaks by.
you cant help it, or change it, even if you wanted to (lord knows i wish i had control).
so anyway, my path is forming and my language is being spoken. its really quite the show.

#6

2010-04-03T23:13:00.000-07:00

dear you,
living truly is an art.

via the nomadic sun

i thought this was ironic...
"I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silent hurt more."
C. S. Lewis (via Angi Bane)

#5

2010-04-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

some say things never change, i say they adapt and progress.

#4

2010-03-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

via faux.fox

#3

2010-03-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

...kind of like someone died.

"i could make you satisfied in everything you do
all your "secret wishes" could right now be coming true
and be forever with my poison arms around you
no one's going to fool around with us
no one's going to fool around with us.."

#2

2010-03-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

i am broken by lessons learned:

dont let anything love that what is broken.
attempt to fix that which has malfunctioned.
become careless rather than hateful.
god wont save me, but maybe hell save you?
free your soul and potentially your heart will follow.

oh life.

"and this is the room
one afternoon I knew I could love you
and from above you how I sank into your soul
into that secret place where no one dares to go

and your mom would sink until she was no longer speaking
and dad would dream of all the different ways to die
each one a little more than he could dare to try"

#1

2010-02-19T22:48:00.001-08:00

i move a lot.
and the boxes that gather
and meander
they choose to linger
they fill empty spaces
stacked on top of each other
stacked and crowded
alone
never unpacked
never attended to
ignored

i moved.
i opened a box
i opened a mess
i chose to expose
i chose to expose and conquer
exposed was the hate
for myself
exposed was the love
for you
and the hate i had
outweighed the love
by so many numbers
that it drove me mad

i went mad.
and i hate you

so long...

2009-11-17T15:34:00.000-08:00

ive chosen a new path in life. for those of you who continue to inspire me, ive followed through my new creative outlet YOUNGBUFF. thanks for the good times!

pet sitting.

2009-09-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

it's now september and my how the time does fly. i am currently pet sitting bp's cats in my loft. they are so much more of a handful than my dogs, totally needy and VERY vocal. it also seems like hairless cats are part mutant; their body temperature is abnormally hot, they are insanely strong and have the strangest personalities. i do love them but they are an immense amount of work, not to mention im crossing my fingers that my landlord doesn't hear their mutant meows. 5 animals = an insane amount of love to give...

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

2009-08-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

neil sent me a text on monday sayin, "vegas tomorrow (tuesday)?" i half way thought he was joking until i saw inter-web remnants of him wandering the strip (ie: fights and "nice smelling t-shirts"). he was a persistent little fish and asked me again on tuesday, "you should convince papa dave to come to vegas tomorrow (wednesday)..." i sat in my towel, fresh from a shower with wet hair and all, pondering what bad could come from this idea? little crossed my mind and i actually thought this could be a REALLY good thing for all of us.

so what did dave and i do? WE DROVE TO VEGAS AT 9 AM YESTERDAY! bada bing, bada boom. we arrive to the party at 1pm with plans to leave at 6am. to make a long story short: 18 hours seemed like a weekend, mike law loves to party, i get emo sometimes, dave knows how to fucking gamble, neil loves getting rough with lamp shades, vegas is the definition of desperate and ive never seen so many bros in my LIFE. needless to say we evacuated that shit hole at 6am, THIS MORNING, making it home by 10. i waltzed into my 12 o'clock meeting like last night never happened.

lesson learned: SORRY FOR PARTYING! im out like a trout - neil talk.

warped 09.

2009-08-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

ladies and gentleman, i have reached an all time record!!! i managed to stay at warped tour for a whopping 3 hours this year. i saw a specific few people and managed to make it back to casa de la darkness by 12:30! im patting myself on the back.

i had a chance to see COURTNAYY!, jimmie (+ the rest of that gang <3 those kids!), the HTL doodz, boner, dylan and a few other solids. i managed to avoid the avoidable and have an overall pleasant night (aside from the wicked stomach ache in-n-out gave me, thanks). if you want to see more just click on any of the photos below!

anndddd, so sadddd...

i miss my fwenddddds!

you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

2009-08-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

bp has this awesome computer and has never used photo booth!!! i guess the hours of face melting giggles that application produces has been taken for granted on my account. after a really treacherous day i broke shit, then we had therapy at the frolic room and polished things off with some photo booth laughs:

(no hes not in pain...)

travis' birthday!!

2009-08-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

august is SO birthday filled... how i love those leos ;)! for travs big day we headed to the infamous bjs for some good pizza/brew/friends. it was fun to see everyone again after my brief hiatus. mainly posi vibes were spread and several hard laughs were had - in all it was a fun filled night. not to mention i got to see these babes!

how the time flies, i remember turning 18 and celebrating my birthday with travis at chuck e. cheese! thats almost a solid 10 years that ive known this man! so travis, buddy, this post is dedicated to you and youre beautiful little soul! thank you for standing by me through thick and thin... not to mention putting up with all of my bs!

i polished the night off with a quick stop at king's fish house on my way home for some healthy eats and some quality time with more of my faves.

stormy stormy high.

2009-08-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

everyone knows you reach high and low points in life but whats in between? i really wish i could pin point what my feelings are at the moment. its kind of like this emotional mush pot of crazy and every day is a new ingredient. friends are vital at this point and if youre out there i just want you to know that i need your company and words more than ever. im working a dream job, living in a loft that is unreal and backed by some of the strongest friendships ive ever had. to each and every one of you, i love you. i also owe a huge part of this little rant to kimmy, dave, brian, nemo and bp. without you guys i would be a lost puppy.

medieval times!

2009-08-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

one of my bestest friends, david flores, turned 26 two days ago. i had the pleasure of organizing a barrel of monkeys into going to medieval times. i knew dave was into live entertainment and eating with his bare hands so off we went! it really helped ease my mind in these awkward times. bp also happened to turn 33 a few days before, so it worked out nicely.

ill sum up the night; this place tried to slang a $20 photo to us that we all look haggard in, m.t. sucks at puns, chunk gave the boys new tubes, dave got knighted (no big deal), i had money on how quickly this crew would be kicked out, our knight gave me a flower followed by a sash tied to the tip of his joust <--- no, for serious and i think we all went home that night with humongous grins on our faces.

the dam cam documented a few glory shots:

misguided angel.

2009-08-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

life has been overwhelming as of late. i cant process the thoughts passing through my head but i promise im 100% in tact and happy (to anyone who is concerned). im flying under the radar and trying to calculate the future. i think if booger and i match brainpower this will be a much easier task....

"i said mama, hes crazy and he scares me
but i want him by my side
though hes wild and hes bad
and sometimes just plain mad
i need him to keep me satisfied..."

my new friend.

2009-07-25T22:26:00.000-07:00

ladies and gentlemen please give a warm welcome to my new friend lugosi. his wrinkles and big aqua eyes are kinda awesome =)

skank world.

2009-07-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

a. ive missed los angeles terribly. visiting her again feels like second skin and im so homesick to live there. upland will tide me over in the mean time.

b. skank world is quite possibly my favorite store ever. their taste in product (furniture) and collection of bratz dolls is impeccable. the staff is so intriguing and its making me want to explore different realms of myself just by talking to them + they make me feel smart for once in my life. i visited their warehouse consisting of more buried treasure than the goonies can speak for. more vintage eames, bertoia and schultz than i have ever seen + peters magic golden bicycle!

c. nemos birthday week is nuts and i never want to go to cinespace again.

when life hands you lemons...

graveyard @ the bootleg.

2009-07-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

last night a few friends gathered to watch one of my current favorites play at the bootleg in la. it was an awesome little venue with so much positive space. i was thoroughly impressed by the opening bands also, which is always a bonus. graveyard totally won me over for the night, why are they so amazing? onto the photos:

good people. good times. this is what i need in life right now.

MAC.

2009-07-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

when you truly love your job it feels so much more rewarding than i would have ever imagined. being a makeup artist has always been something i wanted to give my all to and now is my time to shine. not only do i get to work for an awesome company that pays well while inspiring their employees to reach new levels of creativity, but i also have amazing co workers that are so talented. i took my camera to work to document a few of my mentors:

this is my jenny from the block.

and this is ari - she may be the most beautiful girl ive ever seen.

and incase you care - go buy 'most popular' from the new colour craft launch. its the color i have on in these photos and its super amazing and only released in random limited quantities.

consolidation.

2009-07-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

all of my online sites have now been consolidated to force me into a web design dungeon. this is a very important mark for me as i REALLY need to get myself in gear and build a site directed to my passion and current profession in life: makeup artistry. its an idea ive been tossing around for a bit but the finalized idea is a collective of creative individuals for hire. stay tuned for more details.

i had update in orange county which meant i had to stop by and stay with brittany. i tried to finagle an ash hang sesh also. unfortunately that didnt happen, bummer. the next morning, which was yesterday, we woke up and got ready to head to the city of angels. traffic ended up delaying us by 2 hours and eventually we all managed to meet up at the grove.

joseph and alicia came to hang around and shop for a bit with us. we went to a mid century furniture store called skank world - which happens to be my new favorite place. the owners are so unique its almost intimidating, new friends were made none the less.

we then said our goodbyes and headed home for the evening.

deer tick at spaceland.

2009-07-05T14:55:00.000-07:00

if you havent listened to deer tick yet - you totally should. with their inspiration stemming from the likes of tom petty i doubt you could call their show a "bad time." they had such awesome energy (and drinking habits that put anyone i know to shame). not to mention an impromptu instrument chinese fire drill they pulled off with amazing grace - their skills are pretty insane. they played at spaceland last night which only brought back great memories from when we lived in silverlake. karissa and i made the trip out to the good ol city of angels thus making our 4th an awesome one.

also, FYI to those of you that havent made it to a show at spaceland they have the cheapest (LARGEST) mugs of stella in town + the best bathroom door artwork. cha chingggg!

box eight/shake the dust.

2009-07-03T12:13:00.001-07:00

on thursday i went to dave and neils show at box eight. it was an awesome night and the group was sooo posi. i think we all left with sore jaws from laughing so hard. i managed to say numerous things that ended up sounding so stoops the next morning. my personal fave, " neil, phil... how awesome would it be if you had a SECOND sister named kali?!"

ohhh otis.

the trip was polished off with an early morning trip to swingers. i forgot about their "hardcore soy shake" but was uber haps to chug one down in about 2 minutes flat. since then ive been making my own versions at home - you should try it out!

"swingers hardcore soy shake"
-4 ice cubes
-1/2 cup soy milk
-a spoonful of peanut butter
-half of a banana
-a good squirt of chocolate syrup

blend away and enjoy a SERIOUSLY yummy treat that is way lower in calories than your average shake.

xo

los angeles...

2009-06-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

ive been ogling the opening ceremony web store since it opened in hopes of someday finding my "dream piece" that i would 100% have to throw down on. finally i told myself, "kali, just freaking go down to the store and pick something up, you deserve it." yesterday was that day. through the winding freeways and thick smog i found myself at 451 north la cienega.

this charming 10,000 square foot building was once the studio of charlie chaplin and had so many interesting rooms/nooks/hallways i was mad with excitement! seeing the location alone was worth the trip. i wish i had the funds to buy out the entire alexander wang room - or maybe just the faux fur chair in the corner that was legitimately calling my name?

i walked away with a pair of sunnies ive been lusting after. the hinged black, rectangle, straight-out-of-a-comic book creations by slow and steady wins the race:

i continued by making my journey to josh's house. we ate pure luck, scoops and saw a dog with a mohawk. we chatted about life, business and websites. he is such a good friend.

the end.

palm springs!

2009-06-26T08:19:00.001-07:00

this past sunday (which was also fathers day) theron had a graduation party in palm springs. considering the circumstances i had a blast. i had to post some of the photos taken there so you could experience some of the mayhem first hand. at one point everyone wanted to hop in the cuzzi but 1/2 of us brought our swimming attire. lorrisa thankfully had her suitcase and provided that necessities to make it happen, thanks lorris.

(jeff totally wore lo's shorts. a 6'4" man wearing a size 4 - really?!)

as always, more photos can be found on my flickr.

want want want

2009-06-25T00:09:00.000-07:00

ever since gilt & hautelook started ferociously advertising i started browsing these genius sites. what with places like marshalls or even buffalo exchange existing as open doors to waltz in, why not create a high end discount website? these two nailed it with their daily sales of high end designers such as: marc by marc, zac posen, thakoon, calvin klein, WeSC, michael kors, hunter (scored some awesome snow boots for $64! - cha chinggg) and the list continues to grow!

today's drool worthy item (which i cannot purchase):

so, like, if youre a special someone and need to buy me a certain something it can be found here. ;)

seriously?

2009-06-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

so i generally try to avoid negative blogs at all costs... but this particular incident deserves recognition in my memory bank (aka blog, fyi i have a terrible memory everyone).

i celebrated fathers day with the fams, i have three, so its typically a fairly busy day. i had made plans of time traveling to palm springs for theron's graduation party that evening. i needed to go home, get ready and be down the mountain by 6. this may sound easy to some, but 15-20 minute drives add up when you're doing multiple things in one day. anyway, to make a long story short i pulled into the front of my house (which ive worked SO hard to get into) and there is a huge note taped to the door. i knew off of the bat that this wasn't a good thing. my mind raced with the possibilities of what it could say... but when i did read it the actual content of the note was something that DEFINITELY did not cross my mind.

"NOTICE OF TRUSTEE SALE"

wait what?

"this is a notice that this property will be sold on 7/2/09 at a public auction due to defaulting of said properties mortgage for 90+ days"

yes, this is correct. my home, the one i worked my ass off to rent, move our entire life into and make our own has all become a lost cause. another victim of the current housing crisis, EARTH TO PEOPLE - DONT GET INTO SOMETHING YOU CANNOT AFFORD!!! the owners of this house rented it to me, knowing they were negligent on their payments. better yet, they were already in default, MAJOR crime.

alas, i spent 20 minutes getting ready for this party, on the brink of a meltdown. for the second time in my entire life i experienced a migraine. i didnt medicate myself with anything (aside from a few swigs of k1). i just sat there in complete disbelief while sierra drove into the desert. ho-hum.

favorite dress.

2009-06-19T01:15:00.001-07:00

i had the day off today, life has been busy! i dont really know right from left at the moment, im just goin with it! mac has been a great experience so far. i really love doing something that i have so much interest in.

on a side note: i thought i should really start documenting outfits i put an effort into so i can recycle ideas when im feeling lazy. today i wore a denim dress & thrifted boots. i havent had the opportunity to wear this dress yet and ive been hanging on to it for a few months. today when i talked to kim she informed me that it was "HOT AS HELL!" outside of the woods - so i threw it on and snapped these in my front yard.

i love the oversized cargo pockets and giant keyhole back. also, i am now sure of the fact that my neighbors think i am nuts.

today/tonights activities consisted of:
-car wash/vacuum (its total therapy sitting in that self wash cave)
-sundance ranch to see my pops and his new horse
-tokyo sushi with kim
-target
-empire bowl
-hustler strip club, wait, what?!

keep 'em comin!

2009-06-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

when i checked out my flickr contacts for the day, lo and behold, what did my blue eyes see?? neil favila photo dumped all over the place and what a good dump indeed. some of these photos are so beautiful they bring tears to my eyes. i know thats cheezy as hell but i cant even express how lucky i am to have a friend as talented as neil. when photographers are willing to step out of their "comfort zone" and shoot something as overwhelmingly beautiful as hawaii with a look and feel that is 100% their own, that says a lot. if you havent already, you need to check out his flashy new site: www.nnnfff.net or his flickr which i raped and pillaged for these photos:

(check the bruised and battered stems from moving)

(note to self: no more day drinking)

i promise i will only post one more set of photos from this trip. 100% film all from cameras that were $10 or less, haha. i really miss rob more than anything and life is so difficult to live without seeing his sweet face every morning. IM SOOOO LONELY, ugh.

im in heavy water...

2009-06-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

your love is enormous
it's lifting me up
i'd rather be sleeping.

in the past two months ive learned so much about myself and the relationship rob and i share. life is quite spectacular if you sit back and enjoy it. it was bittersweet leaving hawaii, knowing it would be the last time i would see the island for some time. i was emotionally and physically drained by the end of the trip. i literally hopped on that plane feeling like nothing but an empty shell. sidenote: i am still waiting for some film to be developed and digital photos from neil, but i have a few more photos i can share:

neil and i had talked concepts of shooting in hawaii. nothing really solidified - i mean we were living on island time. by nothing short of a miracle we took off at 4:30am on monday and shot some nonsense:

home again.

2009-06-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

i miss rob so very much. i was kindly welcomed back to california with two packages!

package one: my jeffrey campbel's that i had to exchange for a smaller size. ive been counting the days until i could put these bad boys back on my feet. they are SO perfect for work + are mega comfortable.

package two: a crystal/winchester bullet shell necklace. say what you will but i LOVE crystals and ive been lusting over the $300+ unearthen crystals for years. when i stumbled upon the etsy shop leoravon with the same concept being sold for 90% less im sure you could imagine my excitement. here's my custom piece that arrived lightning fast!

hawaii round 1.

2009-06-06T16:12:00.001-07:00

wal mart is officially the worst place to develop film while in a pinch. my first roll was b&w that had been exposed by the xray machines (even though it advertises 800iso and lower is fine). the photo department employee was so rude and made my already upsetting situation 10x more so. anyway, i decided to give my golden another shot and these babies came out (once again butchered by the wal mart photo department, megh, lesson learned):

one of my faves:

now sit right back and ill tell a tale...

2009-06-04T09:38:00.000-07:00

the hawaii group is pretty epic this time around. life has been so busy and now were all on the island. i will definitely be updating with tons of photos to come. stay tuned =)

crucial BBQ

2009-05-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

brian informed me that castle greyskull (v2.0) would be having a BBQ this past sunday. i was pumped on this decision, seeing as every BBQ that theyve had i havent been in town for.

i listed as many ebay items as possible within the 6 hour time frame i gave myself to work. i thought i would have a sec to squeeze in and see ang, sadly, i was mistaken =(. i arrived to my second home seeing everyone crowded around the barbie. she was so hot and smokey i had to slap a garden burger on her. brian threw on his "domin80's" playlist and everyone started consuming that juice. a few hours later it was cuzzin time! we partied, ason partied, hell i even think marc jackson partied (okay maybe i lied on that last one). time for fotoooos:

my head was spinning by the end of the night and the next morning was a serious challenge. in all id say it was a success (minus the fact that my love wasnt present, saddd). sidenote, i start moving to the forest today - this i am excited about! sayonara house of the inlaws. helloooo no text messages, peace and quiet. if you need to reach me after tomorrow, its going to have to be via email: babyrozie@gmail.com or good ol fashion phone call =)

los angeles.

2009-05-22T18:36:00.001-07:00

current obsessions:
- +++++++++++++
-seafoam green (okay this isnt so current, but its still an obsession)
-coral colored objects
-denim jackets
-forests
-geometry
-sepia
-film
-sweat
-drugs
-no rock 'n roll

dave and i spent the day in la on wednesday. it was KILLER to decompress and just let the time pass on its own. the purpose behind the trip was to make it to the dodgers game by 5pm. this happened and it was actually more fun than i chalked it up to be. dave forced me to wait in line at autograph alley while i was heckled by some gangsters, "denggg, that girl is so tall. shes like yao ming..." wutever doods, i am totally not THAT tall. onto the photos....

i also rented the house aforementioned. im excited for this next step in life, i just miss rob and everything is so indescribeable right now. i hate it.

my very first phone.

2009-05-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

my 16th birthday present was : 909.798.6715 (w/ the double ring to make sure my mom knew not to pick up)

i almost forgot!

2009-05-19T00:55:00.000-07:00

two amazing things happened today and if you know my blogging habits, i REALLY hate back to backers. so [in my opinion] these are worth being a b2b'er:

a. marais shoes launched their online store. i have been ACHING to snag a pair of their black flats. i literally checked my email every morning/noontime/night for their store launch notice. i dont even know these girls, but i wish i did! i have mad respect for independent "boutique" companies these days that create affordable, unique pieces for the public. if you or your girlfriend needs some new roots check them out, for serious: www.maraisusa.com

b. cheebus is risen, no, for serious again:

wow, welcome to americuh people.

the cheeseburger chapter...

2009-05-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

its so strange being alone for this long, i dont even know who i am anymore. kali has left the building and returned as this new and improved mutant version of herself. (did i really type that last sentence in third person?) i was trying to explain this to dave yesterday and all we could conclude was that it is the 'cheeseburger chapter' in my life... hence the new 'siq ink' [i need to stop quoting shit]:

anyway, the story behind that little guy is the fact that ive been searching for the perfect image of the iconic american burger. i think it is such an interesting visual relationship between a hamburger and our culture. maybe ive completely lost my mind? my beloved husband found this particular gem in a 90's font set and i fell head over heels for it.

neexxxt. so much to do in so little time! the woman we were going to rent a house from in forest falls totally dropped the ball. she hasnt emailed me, called me or sent a message to me via pony express in over a week! that is way too shady for me since this whole ordeal has been going on for a month.

today i took the liberty to drive my ass up to forest falls and talk to another realtor about some different houses. i actually found an AWESOME house! its so cute! everything we need in a nice, compact, aged package - just how we like it. im gonna hustle over to yucaipa tomorrow morning to drop off the applications. this has taken way too long and i really need to get with the program. here's a photo of the house:

i really dont like the wooden door, im thinking ill ask the owners if i can paint it the color of the house, that is, if we get it for sure.

IM FLYING BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS PEOPLE....

and missing rob more than ever.

forest falls field trip.

2009-05-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

these images reassured me that i wanna relocate to my own little slice of heaven. the extra 15+ minutes im adding to the work commute is TOTALLY worth the happiness it is going to bring to my little family. all photos were taken on my holga.

im in love with my camera.

neil took this one of me... i was so bummed he took photos of me, but im happy with the result, so - lesson learned.

turn the beat around.

2009-05-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

HIII!!!!

this isnt going to be a very composed blog... im just going to throw that out there now. wait, when are my blogs EVER composed?

A. let me start with this. if there are any ridiculously successful/wealthy readers of my blog that would like to anonamously send me this ring, i would not object.

really though who is going to spend almost $4000 on something like that? i offered $250 and was shot down.

B. i woke up to a phone call from bri (the manager at the mac counter in macy's at vicky g's) saying, "hi kali, its bri, id like to job offer you." lovely way to start the day huh?

C. yesterday i went to forest falls with travis, neil and brandon. what a fun little field trip (i also accomplished productive life things too)! hopefully we will be moving there soon!

D. im under some serious time constraints now - i have to find a house and be somewhat moved in by june 2nd. why is that? wellll, i will be flying to hawaii to see my beautiful husband and dogs. followed by BRINGING BOOGER AND STEWIE HOME! i am so excited!

E. rob has been sending me these images hes been making. im not going into detail but they are really freaking awesome.

F. last but not least... tattoo? oui ou non?

dick move...

2009-05-11T12:29:00.001-07:00

sorry dudes, im gonna be "that" girl again and backdate my posts... if you care to see any of the debauchery that occurred after chicago please dig around before this post.

daves last softball game is tonight! should be fun. not much else to say aside from the usual: im tired, life is at a stand still and i miss rob.

peas.